#1 Love Poems

Short Jokes About Love

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Harry was madly in love with Betty, but couldn't pluck up enough courage to pop the question face to face. Finally he decided to ask her on the telephone. 'Darling!' he blurted out, 'will you marry me?'
'Of course, I will, you silly boy,' she replied, 'who is it speaking?'

What's a cow's favourite love song?
When I fall in love, it will be for heifer.

Bill: My sister has lovely long red hair all down her back.
Will: Pity it's not on her head.

Hilda: I love cookies.
Tilda: That's because you're crackers.

Freda: Boys whisper they love me.
Fred: Well, they wouldn't admit it out loud, would they?

What do you call an amorous insect?

The love bug.

What did one amorous flea say to the other?

I love you aw-flea.

How did the octopus lovers walk down the road?
Arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm.

What do snakes write on the bottom of their letters?
With love and hisses.

What do lovesick owls say when it's raining?

What happened when a female monster fell in love with a grand piano?
She said, 'darling, you've got lovely teeth.

Why did the witch go to the psychiatrist?
Because she thought everybody loved her

Witch: When I'm old and ugly will you still love me?
Wizard: I do, don't I.

A lady put a lonely hearts ad in the paper and had a reply which said, 'I would love to meet you but I have to tell you that I am eight feet tall, covered in matted fur with large fangs and slobbering lips. If you still want to meet me then I'll be under the clock in the market square at six o'clock next Saturday.'
The lady replied, 'I would be interested in meeting you, but please will you wear a red carnation and carry a rolled-up copy of the New York times so that I can recognise you?'

What happened when the young wizard met the young witch?
It was love at first fright.

Did you hear about the vampire who died of a broken heart?
He had loved in vein.

What did one centipede say to another?
You've got a lovely pair of legs, pair of legs, pair of legs....

Julie had broken off her engagement. Her friend asked her what had happened. 'I thought it was love at first sight,' said Julie.
'It was, but it was the second and third sights that changed my mind.

What did the two acrobats say when the got married

We're head over heels in love.

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